Recalibrating Our Thoughts On Gratitude

What if we were taught, as young artists, at the start of each dance class or rehearsal, to stand close to the mirror, stare in our own eyes, and say, “You can do it.”

What if we created a habit, after thanking our instructors and rehearsal directors at the end of a session, to also thank ourselves?

Imagine what kind of mindset we would have if we began with encouraging ourselves as well as reminding “us” we worked as hard as we could and how proud we are of the work “we” have done.

The importance of showing gratitude when someone has done something for us, given us something, or provided tools and lessons as we continue to build and grow our personal strengths, is a tremendous gift to the person we are acknowledging and thanking.

BUT… what about us?

Didn’t we earn a thank you from and to ourselves?

In 2020, I retired as a performer. I could no longer show up for my work in the same ways I did when I was younger, with fewer injuries. Some days it was hard just getting out of bed, not to mention making it to the stage to present and perform at my highest level. Although my retirement closed a chapter to one important part of my life, there was more. More, however, was frightening. Not sure of what was next scared me beyond belief. I even said out loud to some friends, “Wow, now I have to punch my own time clock, wake up for me, and choose me.” If the work was going to happen, I was the only one who would be able to do it. So I began to make plans, set benchmarks and goals for my future.

What I forgot to do was say thank you to me.

I woke up, logged on to Zoom for meetings, hired dancers, found studio space, wrote grant proposals, taught, choreographed, and began to build a community of artists to support my creative needs and feel empowered and encouraged to do their best work. But I forgot me, I forgot to check the mirror. I forgot to send love to the one who was doing what no one would see.

The growth and changes made were what I had dreamed of for so long, and it was hard. Not all challenging efforts are a sacrifice. Growing my artistic voice and a business has been a choice I would make again and again. I would, however, add a few things to my daily routine and schedule: purposeful self-encouragement. It began when I rearranged my words. Not just speaking kindness with truth to the students and dancers in front of me, but also speaking those things for and to myself. When I create something I like, or give instructions now, I congratulate myself out loud…’That was good, Hope,’ and ‘I should write that down,’ even I love it when I’m right. LOL

It seemed strange at first, but shouldn’t I be allowed to be proud of my work; not my sacrifice, but my commitment to my goals? Isn’t there space to give myself grace when needed and personal applause to honor my hard work? YES!

These last 5 years as a solo-preneur, educator, creator, director, mentor, and dance-maker, have shown me I have a place and the call to guide young artists who have dreams like I had and have. I am grateful to stand in spaces to provide as much information to as many who will listen. I am also learning to treasure the roads I have taken, and work to re-map and re-focus those routes for the upcoming dance artists and leaders in our community. Most importantly, I am working to love on all of me. So, just before bed, I look in the mirror and say, “Well done today, Hope.”

Join me in this recalibration of thoughts on gratitude, including you, us, and we in the many thanks we give each day.

Hope Boykin

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